The Gambler
“On a warm summer's evening
On a train bound for nowhere
I met up with the gambler
We were both too tired to sleep”
“Every gambler knows
That the secret to survivin'
Is knowin' what to throw away
And knowin' what to keep”
– Kenny Rogers, The Gambler
All Hearts
On a Thursday in November I returned to the Hollywood Park Casino to play in their Texas hold ‘em no limit poker game ($1/$2 blinds). Early in the session the dealer dealt me Q♥️ T♥️ so I raised and got one caller. He checked in the dark as the flop came K♥️ J♥️ 9♥️ giving me.. for my first time ever.. a straight flush! I checked. The turn came, he checked again, I bet $5 into a pot of $15, and he folded. Oh well. I showed the table my cards.
Not long after, my stack still around the $100 max buy-in, I got dealt J♥️ 9♥️ and was one of five people to call the min bet of $2. The flop came J♣️ J♦️ 4♠️ and we all checked. The turn was the A♠️, I bet $5, and three people called. The river was the J♠️.
For the first time, I’d made quads in-person at a casino. Like the straight flush I’d gotten above, it was the best possible hand a person could have given the board. I bet $8. A quiet middle-aged Asian guy to my left called, the next guy folded. Then a guy wearing sunglasses and a suit jacket over a t-shirt, who’d been pretty chatty since sitting down at our table, raised to $20. I thought for a second then went all-in for $75. The quiet guy thought for over a minute, which is quite a long time in poker, and then mumbled, “I call.” The dealer said “What!?” And he repeated, agitated, “I call! I call.”
The chatty guy in the sunglasses had flashed his cards to the guy next to him. “Ugh. I can’t fold now otherwise this guy will think I’m a nit. I call.” Now there was nothing to do but show our cards. “Okay I wanna see what everyone has,” some other dude at the table said. I turned over my jack, the quiet guy turned over K♠️ 9♠️ for the flush, and the chatty guy turned over A♣️ 5♦️ for the full house. The dealer slid the chips my way as the chatty guy said “I did not put you on the jack.”
At class the following afternoon, a sparsely-attended makeup session for Veterans Day, Katie texted me “Beach!?” so I drove to Santa Monica the moment class ended.
“You didn’t bring a towel?”
“Nah I came straight from class. Can’t miss the sun!”
We soaked in the day’s last rays, eventually taking a dip, which sans a bathing suit I of course performed in my underwear. Joe lent me a towel afterwards: “It’s worth letting you use our towel just to see you run in like that haha”
On the way out I chatted with Joe & Hannah about Rüfüs Du Sol. They’d just seen them perform at Outside Lands, and I’d be seeing them tonight in LA, of which I’ll tell more below.
The next evening I walked over to Joe & Hannah’s, where we recapped my experience at the concert and watched surfing videos. A couple IPAs later we ubered to K-Town and met a group at Ddong Ggo, just in time to get in on some soju (mango & lychee & plain), as well as the kimchi pancake and the fried chicken. On our way out, some of the group paused to pose in front of a squid game mural, so Jose & I enacted the surprise metabomb. We passed the Wiltern Theatre on our way to Terra Cotta, where — after admiring the chandeliers — we commandeered the dance floor.
Hungover the next day I hit the beach in my new shades, reading of the opa’ivu’eke.
Casino Royale
Alex had an idea for my birthday — “let’s do a poker night!” — so Caldwell hosted and I set the theme: Casino Royale.
As the guests arrived on the evening of my 27th, we began serving martinis & old fashioneds. We kept it pretty casual — it was a Wednesday and many had school events, some arriving late and others taking zoom calls from Caldwell’s bedroom. That said, others, like me, were ready from the get-go. We got a good game going, real money but low stakes, taking the time to explain to the less experienced players. I ended up a winner, most of my money coming on one hand where my AT beat A6.
We took a break to join those outside who were chatting or playing darts or beer games. Then the cake arrived, and I successfully blew out all the candles as if it were my sweet sixteen.
Bellies full of SusieCakes, my learning team decided to get a pic together. We sat down to pose at the table, but then thought why not play a hand? So I dealt the cards and some more people joined to play while others joined to watch. The second hand featured a three-way all-in, me with a pair of queens, Hannah with an inside straight draw, and Kelly with an overcard. The runout came clean for me and I pulled the chips my way.
The game ended by midnight, though not before we got a few more people excited about the games to come in 2022!
On Friday I drove from LA to Las Vegas, stuck in traffic for a while until I finally broke through. It was a long dark drive, and I started to wonder: could a city of lights really be at the end of it? Then I saw Primm, the harbinger, which looked like some sort of pickaxe: a long bright string leading to an explosion of white light. At first sight, Vegas looked like sparkling amber nestled in the sand.
I checked in at Resorts World, to which I’d been twice before: on opening night back in June, and to try their food court back in September. Upon reaching my room I quickly changed into appropriate Vegas attire and sat down at Crockfords to order a martini.
The traffic had thwarted my attempt to meet James & Liz for dinner, but they soon finished up and ubered from the Bellagio. They asked me about my time in Los Angeles and about school, and so we caught up a bit. Then James and I looked at each other, prompting Liz to say “Ok I know you guys wanna play poker” “No, Liz, we can do whatever you want” “Come on James, it’s really not a big deal, I’m fine with it” “How about you play too? We can all sit at the same table — it’ll be fun”
There weren’t three open seats at any one table, so they started together while I started at another. Upon joining them, Liz was in the middle of a six-hand win streak, about which James later remarked “those guys were out for blood when she sat down but she has a really great knack for knowing whether she’s ahead or behind in hands.” My biggest hand came against James, my pocket aces holding out against his underpair.
After a short break for drinks, we were ready to play roulette, in which we alternated between spreading the field and betting on black. “How much did we win?” “A couple hundred” “You magician!”
After that we drank some more, played some more poker, and then cashed out in the wee hours of the morning. One night in and we felt like Resorts World regulars.
The next morning I awoke in need of sun, which I found at the pool after scarfing down a duck burrito at the food court. Not a bad pool, though if I were an opa’ivu’eke I’d have opted for the Bellagio’s. James & Liz were both still at the Venetian (their stay for the weekend) — true to form, he’d been “grinding since 9am” in their poker room and she’d been enjoying slushy drinks at the pool. I soon got the itch for cards myself, got dressed, and walked to the Wynn. After betting on UCLA football to beat USC, I sat down and started to play, with both that game and Michigan versus Maryland on in the background. James soon joined at the table next to me, and we texted a bit throughout play.
“Super dead rn. Have seen two flops no turns”
“I’ve run pretty poorly. Bad boards for me when my hands been dece. How’d you end at venetian?”
“Plus 250. Up 150ish rn so even on my poker playing since arrival”
“Hell ya // Playas gon play”
“Have you ever had a grasshopper? The drink”
“Nah // What is it?”
“Alcoholic but you should get one. They do em here real nice”
“Oooo”
“Just ordered”
“Same // 😉 // 😘”
Sipping my drink, multiple other players asked “what is that?” All in all my table didn’t feature a ton of action but was enjoyable to spend an afternoon with. We cashed out, I cashed my UCLA win, and we took a few drinks at the Wynn sportsbook, watching football & talking cards.
We went our separate ways to change for dinner. Waiting for them outside Brezza, I saw them walking down the hall towards me from the RW globe, and looked at them so as to capture their attention. They made no sign of noticing me until, feet away, they started in recognition. “My god, you blend right in! Looking like true Vegas in that outfit.”
We drank wine, we ordered abalone, oreganata, orata. James & Liz sure do dine like two bon vivants. Our main courses done, the waiter brought me a cute little treat and I blew out my candle.
We enjoyed the lights on our way to the Golden Nugget. Sadly they didn’t have PLO, but I experienced my first-ever craps heater, winning a hundred or two thanks to a smooth shooter from across the table.
After a bit of pure partying, we returned to Resorts World for some more poker before the sun came up. James lost a one-outer in PLO, Liz got a buncha pizza for her table, and I pulled off the biggest bluff of my poker career thus far, my pocket eights getting pocket jacks to fold in a big pot.
I cashed out at around 4am, told the guy I’d bluffed what my cards were — “yeah.. I’d felt like I was ahead” — then we fistbumped and I went in search of food, my stomach in knots. The only place open was sushi, so I ate some handrolls then went to sleep.
The next morning took me straight to Allegiant Stadium, where I met James & Liz at the gate. As we entered the stadium the fans were hooting “Raaaaaaiiiiiiiders!” all around. As we swilled modelos at our seats, we couldn’t resist mimicking the chant a bit ourselves, and found ourselves rooting for the home team. It’s Vegas, baby! That said, all James & I really wanted was a Ja’Marr Chase touchdown in our corner of the endzone. After a few close misses, half our wish came true.
We did make sure to explore the stadium a bit: donning Raiders Pride, learning that the massive endzone torch doubles as a bar, and looking out onto the strip. The Raiders, after holding stout the whole game, folded towards the end and Joe Burrow trotted off the field with a huge win.
Afterwards we walked up the strip a bit before getting a cab from New York, New York. Back at the Venetian, Liz wasn’t feeling too well so she went upstairs while James & I got in a quick poker sesh before walking to the Wynn Buffet. The first thing that caught our eye was this dude just going to town on crab legs, pounding and pounding them while both he and his wife kept their eyes glued to some tv show on their ipad. When the busboy cleared their table he came away with a verified tower of refuse. As for me, I made a massive plate full of all sorts of food, and thought I’d never eat again. How wrong I was. James, on the other hand, couldn’t resist the call for crab legs himself.
Full to the brim we parted, James heading to bed before flying back early the next morning for work, I going to walk the strip a final time. I ended up at the Bellagio for one more poker session. I’d been up both on poker and on other gambling for the weekend, but tonight was not to be my night. First I got bluffed on the river, then I lost all my chips when that same bluffer’s full house beat my straight.
It was a lonely ride back and a lonely night. The next morning was a new day though; I got a coffee and drove home.
LA Thanksgiving
Five years ago, during my first fall in New York, my family had come visit me for Thanksgiving. For my first fall in California they did the same, arriving to LA on Tuesday.
On Wednesday we visited my brother who goes to school in Pasadena. He showed us around Caltech campus, including the astrophysics building, the turtle ponds, and a basketball game. Ray and I left at halftime, but the others stayed to watch Johnny’s roommate beat Whitman College, who’d driven all the way from Walla Walla, Washington.
Back at my apartment we had apéritifs, joined by our cousins Chad, Jamie, and William. For the first time since I’d hand-dipped it on my summer roadtrip, I cracked open my bottle of Maker’s Mark Private Selection. It was strong.
From there we walked to Baltaire, the basketball boys having pre-empted us and already began a course of caviar. “This is only for the people who arrived on time.” They wish!
Next we got oysters, the fleshy east coasters outshining the skimpy west. From there it was steaks, steaks, steaks, and we rounded out the night with puffy donuts before all the Seebecks repaired to the airbnb we’d rented in View Park.
I awoke on Thanksgiving morning to a bright sun in the clear sky, just like any other day in LA. So after brushing my teeth I went outside, took off my shirt, and started to read more about the opa’ivu’eke.
Chad & Jamie soon arrived, beers in hand, and we turned on the football. After a bit of time in the sun, I got chips ready and we all settled in to play some cards — outdoors, of course.
After a quick tutorial in which we played some hands face-up, we started to play for a bit of real money. No one really got any monster pocket pairs, though Johnny at one point did find himself with pocket jacks. My Dad, bored of the game, raised with 82 offsuit. Johnny reraised and Dad called, making Johnny an 87% favorite to win the hand. That is, until, the flop came 82T. My Dad now jumped to a 71% favorite, and did end up taking down the pot after Johnny put all his money in the middle.
For Thanksgiving Dinner we drove to The Peninsula in Beverly Hills. Gary, his wife Joan, and his sister Mindy met us at the front entrance. Seated outdoors we ate accompanied by live music, progressing from parsnip velouté to lobster confit to butternut squash risotto to slow braised veal cheeks to…. turkey with stuffing and potatoes and green beans and cranberry sauce.
The bottomless champagne was of course not enough, so we repaired to the bar area for digestifs, including vesper martinis for yours truly & the old man. That got me in the mood for some Bond, and so waiting by the fountain for our car we agreed to round out out night with Casino Royale.
Friday morning we drove to Malibu, meeting Chad & Jamie at the Nicholas Pond trailhead. Chad led the way past many forks in the road, Johnny persevering despite a lack of proper footwear. We pressed on past grass and sand and dirt and rock, past views of the Channel Islands and Catalina, past evidence of forest fires and celebrity mansions, under blue skies and white clouds, all to see…. a dried pond. That’s California for you. We lunched on the edge of a cliff before heading back the way we came.
Chad & Jamie departed upon descent, then the Seebecks skipped rocks at the beach before my Dad went to fifth-wheel at a dinner with Johnny, his girlfriend, and her parents. Ray, Henry, & I left in search for food of our own, finally finding solace at Paradise Cove Beach after trying one restaurant that was closed for the holidays and another that was closed due to a power outage. We slaked our thirst with beer and filled our stomachs with clam chowder, calamari, and fish tacos.
On Saturday I awoke to a snowy Michigan Stadium on TV, watching in disbelief as the home team held and then extended their lead against Ohio State, finally capping off the victory and earning a trip to the Big Ten Championship Game.
We went to a football game of our own that day. Jamie Willock came over and we drove to Pasadena, pregaming at Blind Donkey, a bar known to have been frequented by one Jerome Seebeck & associates. One short drive (and long park) later I found myself for the first time ever at…
After walking around the rim, we sat behind the endzone in the student section. There we celebrated as the Bruins scored and scored again, blowing out the golden bears from northern cal.
The Jack of Hearts
As mentioned above, I went to a Rufus show the Friday before my birthday. Chad had invited me along with four of his friends, so the six of rode together to Banc of California Stadium. The confetti, the air bubbles, the sea of people, and the music combined for an entrancing show.
Near the end, Chad & I went to get more beers, and instead of returning directly to our seats we sipped from the concourse level and watched the show from there. A girl and a guy were the only two nearby, swaying to the music together. I don’t remember who started it, but within minutes we were talking to the two of them, Helen and Murphy.
Chad went to the bathroom and before he returned, the concert ended and a horde of people was charging towards us. I suggested that we get outside before the crowd reached us, and so we did, finding ourselves at a colorful tent that resembled a dinosaur skeleton. I called Chad and he was preoccupied with rounding up the others and finding an uber, so I decided not to worry about it and along with Helen & Murphy started dancing under the tent.
At one point, they broke off to confer tete-a-tete. Upon returning, Helen said “we’ve decided that we like you and that we want to invite you back on our party bus.”
So that’s how I found myself walking across the street with two near-strangers, as I heard total strangers shout “Hey Helen! Murphy!” and join us. “Who’s this guy?” “Oh he’s Lyle; trust us, he’s cool. He’s going to come back on the bus with us.”
We found the bus sitting in a gas station parking lot. I climbed on and found an empty seat, though neither Helen nor Murphy sat next to me. A person asked “wait.. were you here before?” and I responded “nope!” to which everyone laughed.
As we drove towards an afterparty, tequila started floating around. The group talked and shouted and danced and played music. A few times, I felt my eyes involuntarily drawn to a blonde girl sitting in the corner. She met my gaze each time, though only for an instant before looking away.
The afterparty was at a house in Venice, and while the party bus crew had seemed my age, our hosts were older, perhaps in their late thirties or early forties. As of this writing, I still don’t know what the connection was that brought us there. None of our hosts had gone to the show, though they knew we had.
The house had a small back lawn and I ended up talking to the owner about it, saying it looked nice and windswept like Dune, that I’d love to put my bare feet on it. “Oh you know I actually worked on Dune” and he proceeded to tell me about his work in sound effects. Back inside I noticed two Emmys placed subtly above the kitchen counter.
Up to this point the party had been all mingling, so a few of us got a little dancing going. Helen & Murphy left together sometime around this point, but others remained, including the blonde I’d seen on the bus. Besides, as long as there was still music I was in the mood to keep partying.
I danced a little silly, a little goofy. The blonde & I drifted together, though we scarcely exchanged a word. Later I saw her standing by the mirror and walked up to chat. I seem to recall discussing the interior decor, as well as learning she’s from New Jersey. We were the last two from the party bus to leave the party, and so she let me hop in her uber and add a stop. When we reached my apartment, she got out to say goodbye, and I gazed into her eyes. “Do you want to kiss me right now?” “..Yes.” We kissed.
As her car drove away she texted me her name: Corey 🦋
That Sunday I asked:
“You down for drinks or something mon or thurs?”
“Wanna do tomorrow? I think I have an event to go to on Thursday”
“Works for me // Wanna pick the spot? // I could try but don’t know the area at all haha”
She decided on Toca Madera. I was hungover for an event at the Ace Hotel that afternoon, and so dressed in an outfit that would cater a bit to my need for comfort: a plain blue t-shirt, blue patterned shorts, black sunglasses, and sandals.
I picked Corey up and we parked near the restaurant, but as we walked in they stopped me at the door. “Our dress code does not permit sandals.” “Ohh..” Corey shot me a look. “Do you really not have any other shoes in your car or something?” “Nope.” “Can we sit outside?” “Yes, but one of you will need to go inside to check in.” I sat down and she walked in, though a few minutes later she still hadn’t returned.
Then she appeared in the door and beckoned to me. “I just talked to the hostess and she’s going to get the doorman to make an exception.” Sure enough, she did. I walked in past the doorman and muttered “sorry bout that” but he didn’t deign to respond.
We sat at a corner table by the window, and a woman stared down at us from her portrait frame. Across the room I noticed rows of Clase Azul and a full DJ booth. The music was high-energy, as if later in the night it’d turn into a club, and I liked it. Corey said, “This is one of my favorite places, though I haven’t been here in a while. You should take a look at the rest of it later when you go to the bathroom.” Sure enough I did, finding a grid of skulls and an elevated private dining room.
I ordered a Ghost Rider, and then a couple tacos, and we talked and talked — of the bartender: was his mohawk real or fake? — of our careers: she the model and writer and influencer and actress — of movies: it’d seem she’s quite the fan of Mean Girls — of veganism: how it’s good for the environment and it feels good and you should always take home your leftovers — of how rude it is to wear flip flops on a date, a first date especially, to which I replied “we’re just two people getting drinks!” “I don’t drink though” “ok then dinner, either way, it’s not like this is a big deal or anything” — of my birthday party: I invited her to come but it ended up conflicting with her acting class — of Vegas: “this summer was my first time, though I did see Resorts World on opening night” “oh my god.. me too! we must’ve been there at the same time!” — of other patrons: we left around midnight after arriving five hours earlier, having seen each of the other tables turn over a few times.
Our conversation continued on the drive back, and then as we sat in front of her apartment, broken up by kissing until it got too late and we said goodnight. I drove back in a daze.
The next day she asked “Do you have plans Thursday?” “Nah, am free” “I have a few events that day want to come with me?” “Yeah for sure!”
In fact, I had two classes on Thursday, but part of what we’re learning at business school is how to prioritize.
Thursday morning, after confirming it’d be appropriate for me to wear athleisure, I drove to pick her up, calling upon arrival. “I’m running a little behind but do you want to come up?” She greeted me at the door and as I walked in my eye caught her vax card which listed her birthday as June 3rd — a Gemini. She proceeded to try on a few different outfits, asking my feedback throughout. Then, she having chose one, we drove over to Alo House.
“You’re going to have to be my Instagram Boyfriend today, is that ok?” “Uh yeah, of course”
Upon entry we donned furry jackets and made Christmas ornaments, had card readings, posed on snowmobiles, got massages, ate vegan popcorn, ice skated, sat in a cozy corner, stood in front of the snowglobe, and yes, did yoga.
Afterwards we took a drive to Josephine & Billie’s, waiting in a long line for their opening, but at least getting to admire the storefront of Kings Louisiana Seafood: “You Buy, We Fry.” Seems like the type of place that might serve opa’ivu’eke.
The next day was the day I drove to Vegas for the weekend. The night I returned we hung out again, it being the last night before she left for the Thanksgiving holiday. We sat around in my apartment, coming up with interpretations of my abstract painting Purple Reign, guessing the names of artwork from my Georgia O’Keeffe flipbook, going one-by-one through my collection of Funkos, and of course talking of Vegas: “…did end up playing a lot of poker” “oh sounds fun!” “it was.. woulda been fun to have you at my birthday party” “oh I know.. I’d really wanted to go. I’ve always wanted to learn how to play poker so I can go and Swindle Vegas one day.”
The Sunday after Thanksgiving, we texted a bit and when I looked back at my phone later I’d missed a facetime call. I don’t think I’d facetimed once since returning to Apple in May. “U called on facetime?” “Mhmmm // Do you not like to facetime” “I’m down”
Over an hour later, we hung up after deciding I’d come pick her up for a writing day. I drove right over and we went to Verve Coffee, sitting outside and eating avocado toast, which we noticed was made with cultured butter. “Do LA people even eat butter that’s not cultured?” We tried to write but could barely stop talking to each other.
For dinner we went down the street to Sweetfin, and I surprised her by sharing that I’d brought my poker set in the car, so back at her apartment we played one-on-one — or rather, practiced for “Swindling Vegas.” We hung out late into the night, and between kisses I gazed deep into her green eyes. “Do you want to sleep over?” “Can I?”
The sun rose clear over the hills of LA the next morning.
I spent the next few days catching up at school. Corey had mentioned how she’d always dreamed of attending UCLA, so I invited her to the basketball game on Wednesday and bought her some merch. Looking on from the stands as the Bruins jumped out to an early lead versus Colorado, Corey claimed that she looked more like a student than I did. Which is hard to dispute. A bit of Russell Westbrook fanfare didn’t get the Bruins too off-focus, and they weathered a second-half storm from the Buffaloes to hold on for the win.
The next night I left finance class early to pick her up for a rooftop screening of Elf. Who knew Los Angeles could get so cold, though at least it got me a bit in the Christmas spirit. It was early December by this point, after all. Good thing Corey brought blankets, as we snuggled up and even employed a cup of hot water to stay warm. Afterwards, as we took a few pictures in front of a flower wall, a woman complimented her sweatsuit. “Omg thank you so much! The brand is called Electric & Rose, I’m obsessed with them!” Not all influencers wear capes.
After that we went to a party for her influencer agency, the setting of which appeared to be someone’s home but was actually the agency’s office. I met a variety of characters — for instance a tiktokker whose brand is a combination of “fuckboy like party boy,” “shit about being Persian,” and “fuckboy like hookups.”
Saturday evening I met up with my Dad & Sarah as we watched the first half of Michigan’s Big Ten Championship Game versus Iowa, which they ended up winning to advance to the College Football Playoff, their biggest feat since I’d become a fan in 2006. Then Corey & I met three of her friends at Gracias Madre. She & I shared the “crab” cakes, she got the wet jackfruit burrito, I got the cauliflower mole, and a few of us tried their Oaxacan Old Fashioned, which through some combination of tequila & mezcal tasted even better than many of its whiskey cousins. Full of food, we drove to a holiday party.
We dined the next morning at Mel’s Drive-In on Sunset Boulevard, she getting their vegan burrito, which I’m sad (but not ashamed) to say was far better than my omelet.
Then it was time for me to study for finals. I had one each on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, and the moment the third one ended, I went to brunch with some classmates. Two waiters got in a bit of a whiskey commission war, pushing Uncle Nearest on us to such an extent that I nearly felt bad for ever ordering my old fashioned in the first place. We discussed, à la Elf, what everyone’s five main food groups are, mine being whiskey, coffee, oatmeal, rice bowls, and club sandwich. Then Caldwell, Caroline, & I headed to the beach to enjoy some beers and take a slow rest of the afternoon.
Corey came over that night and we met Joe & Hannah at A Votre Santé, sipping wine & beer to a Mediterranean spread before repairing to the latter’s apartment and discussing interior design. Then we all went and met school friends at the Lincoln, before Corey & I left to sleep at my apartment.
The next morning, Corey got the news that the following week she’d be going to New York to work on her movie! We celebrated with brunch nearby at Coral Tree Cafe and then drove to Larchmont Village to make it to her nail appointment at Bellacures. She chatted with the woman across from her, also a writer, and afterwards we stopped at a bookstore nearby before driving back and watching the sun set over Hollywood.
We walked to the Grove, strolling throughout its Christmas wonderland before sitting for drinks as water danced & leaped in the fountain beside us. Looking across at her I thought back to four months ago when I’d moved to Los Angeles, and how little I could have imagined sitting where I’m sitting, feeling what I’m feeling.
The sun rose clear over the hills of LA.
“Now day is breaking, a dawn of white mist on the sands of the beach. Everything is mine, then.”
